Your moma is so dumb that when she came back with a salad and said the sign said soup or salad but the soup doesnt look very supper

My second favorite household chore is ironing.
My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something 'exciting' and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class ..... and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and then sat back down.

Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.

'It's a period,' he replied.

'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so 'exciting' about a period?'

'Darned if I know,' he said, 'but this morning my sister was 'missing' one. Mommy fainted; daddy had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy.

Little Pauly stared at his test paper. The big read 'F' stared back at him.

Freddie looked at his glum friend and asked, 'Why did you get such a low grade on that test?'

'Because of an absence,' Pauly answered.

'You mean you were absent on the day of the test?' he questioned.

Little Pauly replied, 'No, but Maury who usually sits next to me was.'